Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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