dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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