the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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