im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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