Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
