dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Boobs are out for the taking
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
