Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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