just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
