my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
