Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
