Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
