This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
