idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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