so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party