True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The adults are the big ones right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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