what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
