drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is my gift to your gina
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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