So drunk its hurt
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
