We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
