He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
