Buhtt sex?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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