What a fucking waste of an outfit
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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