guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Enjoy the penises
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
