i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
