we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
