I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
