i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
