I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
