Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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