cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
