My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
