Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
