i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
