can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
