just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
