Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
