Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
