i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
