im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
