An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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