I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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