i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
