I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
