I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
