You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
