i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
