If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize