all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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