So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
