shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
