i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
