lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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