Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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