I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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