Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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